Not that it needs it, tuning firm McChip-DKR has come up with an upgrade package for the new BMW X5 M50d. Yep, that SUV with quad turbochargers. What kind of tuning could it possibly need?

In standard spec the 2019 BMW X5 M50d comes with a 3.0-litre quad-turbo diesel inline six engine that generates 294kW and a tree-stump-ripping 760Nm. BMW says it’ll pull off the 0-100km/h sprint in just 5.2 seconds.

German tuning house McChip-DKR proposes two stages of tune. Stage 1 sees engine computer software revised to boost power to 350kW and torque to an even meatier 850Nm. If that’s not enough, the Stage 2 package takes the outputs to 384kW and 865Nm.

With these outputs the large SUV should be able to conquer 0-100km/h well within the 4.0-seconds range. McChip hasn’t provided acceleration figures, but the top speeds are 280km/h and 285km/h, respectively, up from the factory 250km/h limiter. For a diesel SUV, this is insane.

McChip does offer other tuning packages for various vehicles, including the new M2 Competition. For the ‘S55’ 3.0-litre twin-turbo inline six, the company offers Stage 1 to 3 tuning upgrades, with outputs lifted to as high as 450kW and 750Nm.

The Stage 3 kit for the M2 Competition doesn’t just include engine computer tuning though. There’s also new turbochargers and custom exhaust systems. At this stage it doesn’t look like there are such mods available for the X5 M50d as yet. But seriously, if you need more than 384kW and 865Nm from your diesel SUV, you might want to get yourself checked by a doctor.

Imagine dragging unsuspecting motorists off at the lights with 865Nm. It’d pull hard off the line, leaping forward like a tiger. And with xDrive all-wheel drive there’d probably be no wheelspin whatsoever. Head over to McChip’s website for a complete database of packages available.

I like to think that I'm a car fanatic, but more of a driving fanatic. There's nothing better than getting out onto the open road, almost regardless of the car, and enjoying dancing with the controls and gathering up the moving scenery. If I'm not driving I'm either at the gym or sinking a few beers with friends.